i am who i am, with or without you

i have run out of patience for myself, but my patience for you never ends. i continue to ask myself why you could hold so much authority in my life, never have i been this helpless before.but the answer seems so clear. why dont i listen? no, instead i would rather be kissing you some more. wrecking my heart some more. for what is all the joy
worth, if you have never felt the pain?

you are the only one in black & white, but you are the only one that makes sense. i sit on your lap, delightfully lost. i examine your arms, the tattoos you bear. i havent smiled like this in so long. in these smiles, my eyes smile. you are the only one in black & white. and bear so much meaning, to me...

is that heaven?

the memories of it in the future, perhaps is.