how neat!

i came across the artist dalton ghetti in tumblr recently and was in awe by the precision of his crafting/sculpting of the tiniest details. 

his works is extraordinary! check out how he started and how it became an art passion. very cool indeed.

every now and then

you...

you have no idea. no idea of what i feel about you.

of how much i care about you. of how much i think you are amazing and beautiful. of what i think we could become, together. of how much you make me happy and sad at the same time.

of how much you make  me feel so alive. of the butterfly riot that takes place in my stomach and the heart that flutters when you talk to me. of how much you make me worry and scared.

you have absofuckinglutely no idea.

at all...

welcome to my thoughts.

happiness. 

it is something that visits me quite often, but doesnt stay for long. there’s always something that ends the smiles and the laughter. i really wish negative thoughts couldnt trespass into my mind, but unfortunately, they do. all the time. worst of all, i cannot control them. they slip into my mind and stay there. they wait for me to deal with them. 

i want to focus on the bright things in life, but i cannot. that is the problem with me. i always need to fix every single issue in my life before i can be happy. sometimes that takes a really long time, which causes me to be temporarily upset. 

i know the right thing to do is to not worry, and just be happy. it is not as easy as it sounds though. everything gets to me. everything. i really wish i can be someone who didnt have a care in the world. im not that person though, and i dont think i ever will be.

electric feel

these are some of my current fashion obsession. something i will definitely grab from of the sales racks of retail shops. well, yea, if it is within reach. (: say hello to a very self-conscious lady right here right now. i am just training not to be a frumpy old lady in the future. *fingers crossed*

knots

you couldnt erase the past. you couldnt even change it. but somehow sometimes life offers you the opportunity to put it right. // ann brashares.

these knots i feel in my mind, is dying to just leave everything that strains me from i-dont-even-know-where-and-why and just go anywhere these feet can take me. fly me off these coasts, train me in walking boots that walks all day and night, hit me where the pain heals itself, and tell me that i have better day - every day. 

it helps, to have supportive partner. but supportive doesnt always mean understanding and encouraging. 

it all falls back to myself, being me, and becoming what i can be...

totally different

...being at the cemetery now isnt just to see grandfather - a person i have only heard of but not seen, ever. it is going to be a trip i have to get used to, in times to come in the long run to see my very own father - that i wont ever see again in person.


it is hard to know you are never going to see someone again. when someone you love passed, it leaves a sense of emptiness. you question why you could not have more time with them, you daydream about them when you picture your future, and waves of grief hit you when there is no clear answer and your dreams disseminate. you wake up to the realization that those last moments really were just that- your last. but, i believe in something more. i have a spiritual belief that not only are your loved ones a part of you - as they have left imprints of themselves on you - but that, someday, you will meet again.