blue black

it has been a while, since i could hold my breath and just feel the past screened through my mind. this time, it has gone by in a brief forever. i am not sure of how i could say it that way, but i have had a glimpse of everything, and i just thought hell, so much happened in such a short life of mine. looking back, i could laugh at a lot of things as well as cringe in pain just thinking about the dumbest things that i have performed. it doesnt amuse me at all, but in a way i have seen myself growing up. from the littlest bit, to the very core of what i am showing in every little thing that i do now. maybe it isnt so much that i reach the sky, or shine the brightest. but what i represent today, somewhat reflect things that i chose to be, to do, to have to become myself. somebody i would have had no idea of, ten years back. there would have been nothing to be compared to what changed me over the years. hallucination doesnt work this way, so im not classified as having an insanity-fix nor that having coke-fix made me talk nonsense every now and then. i guess having limited vocabulary contributes to me writing almost-the-same things time over time. sigh.

i have worked hard and been through many experiences to be the person i am today and when people compliment that, compliment my personality, it means so much more. in a society obsessed with trying to look perfect, i just wish people would appreciate personality more. personality is so underrated. concentrate on being open-minded, accepting, humorous, caring, kind, unselfish, interesting and find someone that appreciates that. i am sick of people only thinking about attractive-ness, i am so much more than that. i can say that, because i believe beauty is not just skin deep.