10th of Dec*

... is exactly one week after Harris's departure. it is still a shock. and i have this heartfelt anguish on why it happened so fast, in such manner. but then again, to think that he is in a better place and in better hands serve so much more a comfort. RIP Harris. you will be in my thoughts for always.

part of the weirdness today, is that i heave a heavy sigh for everything. everything seems weighted. maybe there is pressure even in the air i breathe. there is right? what seems to be a perfect day might change in a blink of an eye. i think of the next minute before the clock even finish ticking sixty seconds. i think of what i did the minute before and then sigh another time at the common mistakes i make all the time, that i could not help myself to cringe at the very embarrassment that i overlooked the details at work. Virgo? a perfectionist? not so much of one, the way i look at myself. maybe at some particular things in life. but definitely not now.

i couldnt wait for that day i become so bright, so weightless, and lived so fearlessly allowing, that the joy can have its own full life through me. i have had 'those days' before, and it went temporarily missing, that i am now seeking amidst all my shortcomings.



here's to happy days, love! :)