i am sated

this Chinese New Year,
i have discovered that im not born to gamble (i have the luck and the risk-taking part, but still think it is not for me)...or talk too loud.

this year,
i have learnt that family comes first. (well, not that i never knew, but more than before)

this month,
i have learnt that i shouldnt let anyone else judge how i should live my life. i dont need permission or approval of people other than my loved ones who are automatically authorized to do so.

this day,
i cant wait for the rain to fall and flowers to bloom. i sound so emo, but for the rain, yes, i still want it so bad. get me a weatherman from above, i would make the world a pretty, pretty sight! hee~

so, yea,
i am still constantly seeking for new things to do. my to-do list is ever-expanding but it has always been lacking a few ticks. there is just this void inside of me that needed to be filled. i still cant tell whether it is physical, emotional or spiritual. frankly, i am tired of trying to dig deeper and understand what it really is.


maybe i just need another huge transformation (if i ever had one.hmm...another?) or maybe yet another absurd game of the mind. GAHhH~





dear diary,

i am done yearning. i have wasted so much energy, effort, tears and years doing so.

yours truly.