5ive kinda colors

for me,

...every morning there is an imaginary halo hanging from the corner of my messy-out-of-bed-hair.and every day i have this weird voice in my head telling me things and thoughts of having to fend of possible attacks to my vulnerable neck, tummy, or eyes from dont-know-who. every other hour i fear for those whom i care about, thinking every minute will they be run over by a vehicle, slashed by a robber-wannabe, or just got lost in this crazy world. maybe, maybe it is just me, thinking too much.


but my world has five different colors. i do not know a million more. my only colors are happiness, sadness, ecstasy, anger, and fear. basic ones i know. and fear always seem to get the better of me. at (a lot of) times when there is no fear in me, i get restricted to do things that i have been wanting to do. this suck big time, and i ended up in anger and sadness; which eventually brings me back to the initial fear. happiness and ecstasy rarely happen, unless the other three are not present. well, that is normally when i get temporary amnesia or something. and no, i did not exaggerate.


every morning, i still shrug at the very reality that i am not the same me that i was yesterday. i am still not convinced that everybody is genuine. this is a sad sad case, i think that there are less things to believe in now. what else is convincing when even people you see everyday is not all that real now, sometimes. come the day when i blog about faith in things, people again, that is the day i am truly happy with what is around me. most probably. by then...