who you are

i dont know how to tell you what i feel. i live in (almost)perpetual expectancy. that is why i could not really tell what i want, in exact words. maybe im just waiting for things, or me to be understood if there is any intention of that in you to do so. i dont want to have to be verbal in everything that i do, or want to do. as a baseline, i do everything in my might to be in your life that i sometimes think why. these unspoken thoughts are what bugs me every night when i lay my head, vaguely reminding me of my own prerogatives. automatically like an audio player, even when i didnt turn on that repeat button - it always goes on and on, without fail.

you come, and the time slips away in a dream. it is only when you leave that i realize completely your presence. and then it is too late. you numb me, in a way that i will never be able to fathom. maybe, in the millionth time when all these emotions collide. but let me tell you this, then, i wont be the same me.