it was like he the opposite male version of me, if i was to be a boy.
i wonder why some thought it might be a match made in heaven but it was far from that. i sat there on across him and shared stories of my past and present and opinions that were similar but different — different enough to make you question any possibility of having this conversation in any other way or time. how on earth can i care for someone so deeply, and yet hate him so much at once - for messing around with my emotions all the time! i could not in any way fathom why when i spend my nights awake wondering why i am hurting, when i am the happiest i have ever been sometimes. it is ridiculous, really, how it has become.
...all these mixed feelings, love&hatred, and more - you still have a hold of this heart. today, and hopefully still counting, darling.
happy monthsary, my dearest yiktian!
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thank you for sending me love/hate note ;)