indulgence

i wonder a lot about what goes on in your head and wish that i could figure you out. the problem is, i dont know what goes on inside my head some days.

i am a girl, to say this is to merely state the obvious. but when im a girl, my life is like music that is always getting louder. everything moved me, affects my life, my emotions, my very being. a homeless dog following a stranger. that made me feel so much. a calendar that showed the wrong month, i could have cried over it. that, is how crippling these feeling are making me sometimes.

i spent a lot of time trying to feel less. to be less sensitive. to just not feel, at all. but all these, to no avail, most of the times.

everyday i feel less. is that growing old? or is it something worse? i found that you cannot protect yourself from sadness without protecting yourself from happiness. this, i find is most realistic to what i am feeling right now.

...indulgence of feelings.