i've got clouds in my head, dreams in my skies.

i wanna be rich. money, yes, but physically and emotionally too.buy myself a huge loft in new york. get freakin artsy-fartsy. buy tonnes of ice-cream...and effin live!

well yeah, i am living. having more in life to think and have is not a bad thing. we are all subjected to disappointments. for me, i would cry over it, sulk, ramble on and on and on, complain and complain, then suck it in. yea, that is about it. then i would start wondering what is next.

i constantly wonder how my life looks like in other people's eyes. do they think i have it easy? do they think i have nothing going on for myself? or are they wondering what i am wondering too? the thing is that no one will ever know my whole story. no one will ever know the things i have had to overcome--not even my closest friends or my family. it has always been a personal affair. the thing is that people are always so quick to judge. you can only see a person from what they want and allow you to see. i always try to look as put together as i can, and i guess that is my way of hiding from the truth. this scares me sometimes, that nobody will ever understand why i am the way i am. it is such a nice thing if everybody has an understanding of what others go through, rather than having prejudice and inaccurate judgments. i wonder, when will this ever happen. maybe it will never happen at all...