unconscious emotions

all my life, i have been in love with the sky. even when everything was falling apart around me, the sky was always there for me.

maybe that is just growing up. when you are young, you tell yourself things like well, if it didnt work out, it wasnt meant to be as if that actually meant something, just because it sounds like it does. i think you can say something like that so blithely because you expect to stumble onto something else just as wonderful just around the next bend in the road. but people are rare, perfect, unique things, and just because everyone really does live a life full of farewells doesnt mean you shouldnt at least realize what it really means to say goodbye to something that meant everything. just because you will survive and get over it doesnt mean you should let it go.

i must inform you, that i am a very sad person. i am always thinking about everything. im constantly smiling, but like everybody else i am always unconsciously worried all the time, about things happening around me. some of these times, it is really none of my business at all. but it bothers me all the same. so i am always sad, i think. perhaps this signifies that i am not sad at all, because sadness is something lower than your normal disposition, and i am always the same thing. perhaps i am the only person in the world, then, who never becomes sad. perhaps i am lucky.