some because*

because i like this feeling. because the sweetness in your voice makes my skin bump. because i fancy casual conversation and you always understood my desire to be alone with you. because i understand your body. because i trust your instincts. because you call at all the right times. because you just needed to talk to me before anything. because you inspire me. because you say the most ordinary things. because you introduced me to all of your family on our second date XD. because you were fearless about getting into the water, and fearless in about literally anything at all. because you made me wear your ugly sweater even though i wasnt cold. because they said it would never work, and it didn't. but we wanted it to. because you sucked on my fingers. because you taught me a lot of how to. because i love hands that are bigger than mine. because we both drive each other crazy. because you are the most thoughtful person i have ever met and it never feels forced or fake. because you cant wait to hear what i think all the time. because you made me maggi mee and it is the best maggi in the whole wide world. because the world seem square when im with you. because we sat on the sand at the beach and you convinced me that you would be the one to fix my life. because your smell makes me insane. because you whisper the softest things in my ear when i was insecure. because you always surprise me. because you would never quit laughing. because you held my hand the entire drive home from work. because i have no choice better than you. because just the thought of you makes me smile and giggle. because i wrote, life was never as good without you. because you were brilliant and awesome and you still chose me. because of so many other things that only we know and shares.


because you are the only one.




ps: truth#1- that sweater wasnt ugly at all.

pps: truth#2- i dislike maggi. but your maggi is still the best :P

ppps: truth#3- i love you!

fate*

it wasnt without sadness or lament, but i know that hippie bullshit wasnt really my kind of deal. the thought of having hot and cold temperamental people in my life is making me worry that my senses arent cleansed&sharpened as often as it should be. somehow i thought it was funny when people would mistake me for being the kind of thoughtful and start up a conversation that leads to a lifetime of friendship. well, it wasnt so much of a mistake always though ;) this kind of coincidence is fate?


i had a killer headache the last two days, and i suspect my decision to skip out on my usual chattery fix was to blame. i became quiet and reserved and just plain lifeless by a forced choice, and it has taken its toll on me already. i guess i really couldnt live with silence. for me, everybody(with exception to maybe perverts and crazy people), even those i meet on the streets should deserve a smile, or even a nice greeting of some sort. the world is too cold without warmth like that nowadays. well, i wont say it is right to just go up to anyone and just talk like nobody's business, but depending on suitable situation a little kindness wouldnt hurt and might go a long long way...


it happens that some of the most unusual and influential people in our life could be from a very humble and unexpected start. it happened to me. what about you?

we*

an anonymous excerpt found long ago on Google that got me thinking.

this could apply to anyone of us, guy or girl. it is true that most of the time opportunity wont wait. it cannot be denied that each of us have different ways of conveying message and thoughts, but the only way is to tell, NOT keep.

everybody has a secret world inside of them.
all the people in the world, i mean everybody.
no mtter how dull and boring they are on the outside,
inside them they have gall got unimaginable, magnificent, wonderful, stupid, amazing worlds.
not just one world. hundreds of them. thousands, maybe.
neil gailman.

connection*

for all the unworthy existence, and what is worth. people always always always say that whatever that happens, happen for a reason. but what if what happens is man-made? does it fall into the same quote about having a reason? i would rather believe otherwise, if the results or consequence of things is either made with conscience or is knowingly shown in every way possible. the quote doesnt apply, if things does not happen unexpectedly.


i read this somewhere and i thought how sometimes people do think alike, and how much parting from our dear ones hurt us emotionally deep inside. if you have felt that way, or anything similar and if it is driving you insane, then you have been in love, like i am. like i do. and still am.

...by day or night,
in weal or woe,
the heart, no longer free,
must bear the love it cannot show,
and silent ache for thee.

--George Gordon

what if everything is made up? i have a lot of what ifs that needs to be answered. time will tell, maybe. but time doesnt heal everything. time just make things fade and turn things sour, if not bitter in the end. depending on time does not give me security, or even a simple answer.


time kills, not heal. agree? i bet you dont. but i do. sigh

to do

tell me what do you do when you get to a dead end in a situation and everybody else just freezes and plays silent treatment? i react the worst when being ignored, and i find that i couldnt function so well under pressure of being yelled at or in similar situations. maybe then i should just get used to being quiet, and not be so talkative to certain people from now on. or maybe i should just continue talking to myself (yes, i do. pfft).


so, yea, what would you do?

tea&coffee

i throw myself wholly into everything i do and hope i dont hit the ground too hard if I fall.

i need a time out. maybe more breaks for tea&coffee. then maybe i would realize what are my actual priorities. what i want, and what i need is so different, and so hard to get. are you for real? are those said meant to be said? or is it all just part of my delusion?

this love*

...is . fragile. vulnerable . free .



this doodle says it all. literally.



lost and insecure,
you found me, you found me...



now, after all,
...where were you, where were you.





...maybe i will just keep you to myself.

wrath*

... of a shopaholic.

temptations
---------------
no.

you dont even deserve to be smiled at.

so, bug off!

i am so gonna wear invisible-eye-protector-kit every time i go out now. until i pass the urge of impulse shopping!

calling all angels*

sometimes, discretion is
really a luxury i would say.
you would want things to be discreet,
but you wont always get discretion.

on being laine*

a random doodle.

i am enjoying my old self again. in fact, i miss her dearly. i wish i had the same amount of guts i once had.

nothing.too.complicated.

I JUST NEED A CLEAR MIND, NOW !
...and not just anybody's judgments.

stupefied*

sometimes i just felt so unaware of how things happen so fast. have you ever felt time passes by like you never know it passed going on with whatever you are doing that doesnt amuse you in anyway or anyhow? i do, and it sucks the life out of me like nothing could. (if i even know what that means)



sometimes an uneventful day could prove to be such a hazard and would really make a person lifeless. in my case, i have too much energy and enthusiasm but have nothing much to release them on. talk about being not resourceful enough, i did a lot of little little thing that you wouldnt imagine how much i stuffed myself doing so many little things in a day. sometimes i ask myself where do i find so much drive to go with so little time and place. pfft. fml...sometimes.

anonymity*

being anonymous isnt all that cool. stick out your tongue, or piss a someone once in a while. being off from normal sometimes is the norm itself. why duck and hide when you have got things to say? i doubt the message is actually sent across as well as conveying them straight to the point, right? and why the hassle of having to bury chests of secrets or conceal things when it is all the same being known or unknown. it is just the matter of the people knowing it, whether it is worth it being all that secretive or shy. i think it is shallow...

untitled*

i fall in lust easily. i like to think of it as mature infatuation. and when i do fall in love, i usually fall hard. i am always afraid, that there is nothing, or noone, will be there to break my fall. thus, the penchant for the former state of delusion, for it is a lot easier to get back up when its just out of bed...

maybe i am just not ready for happiness like it isnt ready for me. when i am happy, i would think that i could hold on to that piece of happiness for-ever. but of course that doesnt happen like what i believe it would be. stubbornness doesnt glue things together. anything. i like things that i love to be long-lasting, and goes on and on and on and on and on! empty promises, broken words, separate ways, repetitive changes does not appeal to me- - at all !

i begin to think that i live a cursed life. pfft.

charmed maybe, according to what i see right now. life is, already.

ness-day

everyone is saying different things to me, different things to me.
everyone is saying different things to me, different things to me.

do you believe in what you see?
there does not seem to be anybody else who agrees with me...

dark.brown.eyes.

people worry.
what are they worrying about today?
seems like there is a good reason to worry worry worry...

i have got a lot going on in my head lately(always actually). too many things to think about.


you?

alice*

alice in wonderland tattoo on flickr by the tattoo studio

awesome! need i say more?! favorite childhood story of all time!


ps: this lucky dude! pfft!

which one?

taken from wordboner.com

there is only a fine line between love and lust. which one do you give and receive? i think these two co-exist. without love, or lust, doesnt really make up a relationship. correct me if im wrong, but aint it that way most of the time?

fairytale?

excerpt taken from online synopsis:

this is a story of boy meets girl. the boy, tom hansen of margate, new jersey, grew up believing that he would never truly be happy until the day he met the one. this belief stemmed from early exposure to sad british pop music and a total mis-reading of the movie ‘the graduate’. the girl, summer finn of shinnecock, michigan, did not share this belief. since the disintegration of her parents' marriage she had only loved two things. The first was her long dark hair. The second was how easily she could cut it off and not feel a thing. tom meets summer on january 8th. he knows almost immediately she is who he has been searching for. this is a story of boy meets girl, but you should know upfront, this is not a love story.


(500) days of summer; one of my favorite movies.

screen shots collage from my own collection. i forgot where i got this from. XD

this movie makes me ponder a little bit. it is quite a clever way of indirectly telling all of us that things might not be what we think it would be even if it seemed right to us. sometimes fate plays a big prank, or rather we should probably believe in destiny(as cliche as it could be) itself. in fact, everybody who happened to be in our lifetime(or not) plays a role whether we acknowledge it or not. a book, 'the five people you meet in heaven' by mitch albom, is a very enlightening story, to me. it touches me in a way that i couldnt have realized that all these while i might have just pass through people without realizing that the person would have been a crucial part of my life the very next second.

love isnt perfect. it isnt a fairytale or a storybook and it doesnt always come easily. love is overcoming obstacles, facing challenges, fighting to be together, holding on and never letting go. it is a short word, easy to spell difficult to define and impossible to live without.



cherish, treasure,love...

Sunday already!

my little black and white note says it all huh...

have a great Sunday people. i have already started getting my hate-Mondays-discomfort. if there is such thing...