i think there is a realization in me, at one point, that i have to achieve something better. for myself. when human relationship doesnt satisfy you as much as it was then, materials in life, in turn, provides to that satisfaction. that is when you actually can decide, your own future. maybe yes, i could too. like i always say, if it is meant to be, it will be. so if me being away-for the sake of improving my future and to get things i want without being dependent on another being, endangers our hope of being an item for always, then so be it. at least it proves to me- a tad earlier, that we wont work anyways someday. i really hope it wont happen though. i still secretly (not secret anymore) wish we will have our happily ever after, darling.
i love you.
*big sigh*
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