black, white, also the grey.

i am not where i need to be, but thank God i am not where i used to be. 

with this statement, i admit i really miss how things used to be. but i can also admit now, that i have accepted the fact that things have changed and this is where things are going to proceed from. and this;

you will find that it is necessary to let things go, simply for the reason that they are heavy.

i find relief, knowing that i need not have a great big reason to let go of something that is giving me unseen burden. letting go, does not directly mean giving up. it is merely a unloading built up pressure that is dragging me from better times.

i spent a good portion of my break from work recently on drama series and apart from the entertainment, i sometimes grit my teeth imagining at myself facing similar situations one moment in time like in those scenes. normally in separate scenes and often several different characters and stories, looking at things from a third person's view is almost gratifying, knowing certain doubts in this mind for much less time i spend thinking to myself.

it is one of those things that people say, you cannot move on until you let go of the past. letting go is the easy part, it is the moving on that is painful. so sometimes we fight it, trying to keep things the same. as for me, i replay a lot of the good or sometimes even bad scenes in my head over and over. things cannot stay the same, though. at some point you just have to move on, because no matter how painful it is - it is the only way we grow.