you are occupying a good sized apartment in my brain. i cant get you out, no eviction notice on the door. i hate the distance between us, body, mind, and soul. i hate that being with you is all that i wanna do, right now. it makes my life seem pointless, i would rather be there. i would rather be doing anything with you. watching your eyes as you look at things. the way you smile at people you encounter, the way you make people smile, the way they smile back. i would be happy and proud just to be that close to you. i would feel special, i could just be there the whole time. i would sleep in, i would make some coffee to get by, and then i could have stomachache for all that i care. i could spend my days thinking about what you are doing, it is not healthy, i know, but that is nothing new.
you have become the thing that keeps me breathing, and at this point, i am just lost. and you know you would win, for whatever.
i miss you.
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thank you for sending me love/hate note ;)