she was a wild girl & there is grass in her hair

maybe things dont happen for a reason. maybe we are just grasping for ways to make sense of the chaos around us. maybe we are giving meaning to things that has no meaning. maybe we are clinging to hope so hard that we forget about reality. what if we are wrong and nothing is meant to be? we are just lost souls wandering endlessly, desperately seeking comfort from the notion that things will work out in the end no matter what. what if we have tricked ourselves into believing that everything will be okay in the end just so that we dont have to face the reality that maybe it wont?

there is only one man that stays forever in my heart, ever! my father. he has been my confidante over anything serious or not, being the person i tell silly things to and get scoldings from. i can tell him everything, well, almost everything and i expect the best from him. sigh. maybe the only person greater than him is God and that doesnt come close to being a person. God is a being greater than anything, yes?

so, here i am with a man i deem fit to be my other half for the rest of my journey...

i am scared, most of the time actually. being attached to someone or something that you have no idea of how long it is going to last is freaking me out all the time. once in a while the fear fades because i find something else to obsess with my time, short breaks from the craziness of fussing over this love, but sufficient to keep me sane for a bit.

it is rare you find that guy who is more than just your boyfriend. you tell him anything and everything, from your deepest secrets to what you ate for breakfast. you laugh about stupid things together, kiss like its your first time, and love without limits. he is your trust, keeper of your heart and best of all, bestfriend. dont let him go.