my valentine experience

the night of valentine's day...

i would never have seen this coming, not in a million years, that anything short of a good thing would happen to the man i loved the longest and the most. this very man that i have known ALL my life, being at the emergency room is one experience i would never ever understand - until the night of February fourteenth twenty twelve. 

nobody said anything. my mom and i thought it must have been something he ate that triggered an unfavorable response from his body which resulted in difficulties in breathing. my very own father is in that freaking suffocating room filled with tubes and medicine and equipment. we remained calm, suppressed all our worries and hoped for the best. mom even started little every day conversations with Uncle Chris, my father's close friend, while waiting for whatever that is going on inside that room with blood red indication light. while holding on tight to the arms of the other closest person i have at that very moment, i waited, impatiently. but i could not do anything else, other than to wait. 

in that mere two hours, doctors&patients came in&out of that emergency room countless times. and my father have yet to be seen walking out. then one of the doctors whom my father was taken care by, came out to inform us the status of his treatment - of him. through his calm but sort of sorry face, telling us that they are trying to save him. for three times, three times he came outside, telling us that his situation only worsen with time and treatment. on the third time, he just told us there is nothing they could do. there goes my lifelong support, our lifelong support, mortal and everything went blur. valentine's day has passed, and so did he.

i could not, no words would be able to describe how i feel when he blurted out that sentence. no words could ever describe how i felt when we were allowed to see him, lying lifeless right there. my heart&head almost gave away then&there, if it was not for people i have got left. i think my whole world just fell apart and i could blame everything and anything in my sight. i would have given up anything at all to have everything reversed all over again. i would have...

my father. fifteenth February twenty twelve. in loving memory.