do what makes you happy

...that was what both my father and my beloved Uncle Andrew told me to do -- always.

don't worry about everything, just do what makes you happy. they would say, and always asking me if i'm happy with work or if anyone was mean to me and all that extra care that i know went extra mile without me knowing to make sure that i wasn't harmed outside. i knew, both big guys pulled a string or two but i'd still got myself into trouble unnoticed. typical. 

yesterday at the funeral i thought my heart would fall out from the heartache and all the crying. probably not even realising what his death could bring me so much sadness. i thought i could hold up better after what we recently been through but i started bawling barely halfway into the memorial mass and not even into the funeral procession. it was heartbreaking, and nothing will ever prepare a person for anybody's funeral at all. nothing. 

i am truly blessed to have a very loving father, to the point of no returns, and also an uncle who practically loved me from the moment i'm conceived up my very being...a little girl to them no matter how old i get.

i am every bit as lucky a woman who could have a loving and ridiculously awesome man as the father to her children, just like these two god-sent men to me. amen.

with utmost respect and forever love, goodbye.